Picture this,

You’re going to visit your parents, you get onto the plane, settle into your seat, relax back, watch a movie, read a book, time flies, you arrive in the airport, disembark the plane, your parents greet you at the gate, hugs and smiles all around, nonstop chatter in the car, you arrive at their home (possibly your old home?) home cooking scents fill the air, life is good! 

Does this sound familiar?  If it does you are SOOOOOOOOO lucky and/or lying to yourself.  This is not a Hallmark movie people! Visiting parents, siblings, children, any relatives in general is fraught with anxiety—sometimes.  Not always, I know.  But, let’s face it.  There have been times we have flown to visit our loved ones and we are not looking forward to this trip. We just have the anxiety.

So I have come up with an idea!!! Shark Tank look out. Unless, of course, you lovely readers would like to invest in my brilliant idea.  A Charter airlines for tsuris. It’s a Yiddish word that means troubles, worries, woes, basically old-fashioned aggravation.

People buying tickets will include those that self-talk – “ I will not raise my voice to my mother when she critiques me”, “ I will not give judgment to my daughter”, “ I will not dispense any suggestions on how they should raise their children”, “I will not ask my son when are you going to get married, get a job, shave off your beard, clean your house, get a life!!!!!” 😊

The flight will include a therapist, a hypnotherapist, meditation counselor, massage therapist and fitness instructor.  Stress relief balls handed out upon boarding the plane. Organic ashwagandha tablets passed out instead of peanuts or pretzels. Anti-anxiety pills distributed in first class only. 

These specialists will hold classes during the flight instructing us on how to handle difficult anxiety producing situations, i.e. when your mother asks you what is that pimple on your face five minutes after greeting you or asking you if you’ve gained weight.  Or, what’s the etiquette on handling your father-in-law when he suggests joining you on your honeymoon? Or your daughter has decided to get a tattoo of the name of that guy she just met because he’s so “cool”!  Much more practical and probable than instructing us what to do if the flight crashes. 

The goal of these flights is that when you arrive to your destination, you will be a calmer version of yourself. Little things won’t bother you. Life will look sunnier and clearer. Your adrenaline has all been released on the plane from the simple exercises you did in the aisles. You will deep breathe through minor altercations. Your neck and shoulder muscles should be nice and relaxed. You should practically melt off the plane when it lands. When you and your loved ones greet each other, it will be with hugs and smiles all around. You will continually remind yourself that these people love you and you love them.

You are now off the plane, with the people you have traveled hundreds of miles to see. You’re sitting in the passenger seat, smiling, knowing you did the right thing. You’re thinking to yourself, “I’m a good person, I went out of my way to visit the people I love even though I had some issues with it. How silly was that? These people are my family and friends. I’m so glad I did this”. You’re now sitting up straighter, with a sparkle in your eye, proud of yourself!

And your mother looks over at you in the car, touches your face lovingly and says “is that a pimple on your face?”. *^%#@%# And all the calm, deep breathing, loving thoughts just went out the window, and you are now a full grown man, a CEO of a company, who is yelling at an 80 year old woman sitting in the car as she’s driving 40 mph down the highway.

The good news? You’re still going to see your loved ones!! You’re still making an effort. It’s hard but you’re trying. Don’t stop. It is worth it.

And now your next phone call is to TherapyAir asking for your money back!

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

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