Picture this,

You’re going to visit your parents, you get onto the plane, settle into your seat, relax back, watch a movie, read a book, time flies, you arrive in the airport, disembark the plane, your parents greet you at the gate, hugs and smiles all around, nonstop chatter in the car, you arrive at their home (possibly your old home?) home cooking scents fill the air, life is good! 

Does this sound familiar?  If it does you are SOOOOOOOOO lucky and/or lying to yourself.  This is not a Hallmark movie people! Visiting parents, siblings, children, any relatives in general is fraught with anxiety—sometimes.  Not always, I know.  But, let’s face it.  There have been times we have flown to visit our loved ones and we are not looking forward to this trip. We just have the anxiety.

So I have come up with an idea!!! Shark Tank look out. Unless, of course, you lovely readers would like to invest in my brilliant idea.  A Charter airlines for tsuris. It’s a Yiddish word that means troubles, worries, woes, basically old-fashioned aggravation.

People buying tickets will include those that self-talk – “ I will not raise my voice to my mother when she critiques me”, “ I will not give judgment to my daughter”, “ I will not dispense any suggestions on how they should raise their children”, “I will not ask my son when are you going to get married, get a job, shave off your beard, clean your house, get a life!!!!!” 😊

The flight will include a therapist, a hypnotherapist, meditation counselor, massage therapist and fitness instructor.  Stress relief balls handed out upon boarding the plane. Organic ashwagandha tablets passed out instead of peanuts or pretzels. Anti-anxiety pills distributed in first class only. 

These specialists will hold classes during the flight instructing us on how to handle difficult anxiety producing situations, i.e. when your mother asks you what is that pimple on your face five minutes after greeting you or asking you if you’ve gained weight.  Or, what’s the etiquette on handling your father-in-law when he suggests joining you on your honeymoon? Or your daughter has decided to get a tattoo of the name of that guy she just met because he’s so “cool”!  Much more practical and probable than instructing us what to do if the flight crashes. 

The goal of these flights is that when you arrive to your destination, you will be a calmer version of yourself. Little things won’t bother you. Life will look sunnier and clearer. Your adrenaline has all been released on the plane from the simple exercises you did in the aisles. You will deep breathe through minor altercations. Your neck and shoulder muscles should be nice and relaxed. You should practically melt off the plane when it lands. When you and your loved ones greet each other, it will be with hugs and smiles all around. You will continually remind yourself that these people love you and you love them.

You are now off the plane, with the people you have traveled hundreds of miles to see. You’re sitting in the passenger seat, smiling, knowing you did the right thing. You’re thinking to yourself, “I’m a good person, I went out of my way to visit the people I love even though I had some issues with it. How silly was that? These people are my family and friends. I’m so glad I did this”. You’re now sitting up straighter, with a sparkle in your eye, proud of yourself!

And your mother looks over at you in the car, touches your face lovingly and says “is that a pimple on your face?”. *^%#@%# And all the calm, deep breathing, loving thoughts just went out the window, and you are now a full grown man, a CEO of a company, who is yelling at an 80 year old woman sitting in the car as she’s driving 40 mph down the highway.

The good news? You’re still going to see your loved ones!! You’re still making an effort. It’s hard but you’re trying. Don’t stop. It is worth it.

And now your next phone call is to TherapyAir asking for your money back!

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

I just finished listening to a Brene’ Brown TED talk. She is a lecturer and an author with a PHd who studies, among other things, human connection. I am a “newbie” when it comes to Brene’ Brown but I like what she has to say. Obviously I don’t have my Phd (actually maybe that isn’t so obvious. Maybe you guys just *assume* I have my Phd with all the intelligent, knowledgeable insights that I make :-))

But seriously I think I spend my life watching and observing  different types of human connection. And especially now it’s more important than ever we try and have interaction. That’s why I love talking to people and strangers because I love connecting to everyone. I will almost always find something in common with anyone. I will find a way to “connect” with anyone; To make them smile and have them feel connected to me. It may take awhile. It may be a long and winding road, but I will get there. They may run away while I’m trying to connect with them, but I will do it!!

I guess this is the reason I write these blogs. For me to connect with my readers. Laughter is my way to unite, in a happy, positive way. There is enough negativity. 

Onward to this issue.

The setting is the doctor’s office. Yes, I know many of my blogs recently are at the doctors office. Unfortunately your choice is doctor’s office or grocery store. That’s my few “go to” places of late. I walk in the woods often with my dog, but besides getting hit in the head with a tree limb, not too many humorous things happen there. And lately, the people in the grocery store look more anxious than in the doctor’s office. It’s eyes straight ahead, don’t talk to me, which direction is this aisle?, crap I have to turn around, my mask is fogging up my glasses etc. The doctors office has become more relaxing. They only allow a few people in at a time, you know everything is sterile, I’m out of my house, this has now become my “good life”.

Now here’s an interesting etiquette question for everyone. Please feel free to give me your feelings on how you would handle this situation. I’m in my doctor’s office bathroom preparing my urine sample-enough said. This facility does not have one of those handy little wall “vault” windows where you put your urine in and someone magically takes it from the other side.

Like it’s some precious jewel or a drug deal going down. So here you just put your name on the cup and leave it on the counter. As I’m finished, I walk out and a gentleman needs to use the bathroom after me. A goodlooking gentleman, of course. Not an eighty year old man but a nice looking, “how you doing” type of man. Of course, my nurse is no where in sight. What do I do? What’s the “urine on the counter” etiquette? The dialogue went something like this:

Mewalking out of bathroom:  “of course you can use the bathroom but, um….my urine sample is on the counter. I mean, I don’t care if you see my urine. You can see my urine, but I don’t know if you want to see my urine.  I won’t take it personally if you don’t want to see my urine.  But you may want to give my urine privacy?”

Good looking guy says, ” I don’t mind that your urine is in there.  And thank you for letting me know that.  But you’re right, maybe we should give your urine privacy”.  

He’s blushing a little, my eyes are cast downward, we’re both being a little awkward like we’re on a blind date!!

Should I now stay with my urine? what if he wants my urine to do unscrupulous things with it? Would he switch it with his drug filled urine? Has he been waiting outside a doctor’s bathroom for hours just waiting for this opportunity? I mean my urine is pristine. People pay me for my urine!!! I’m not giving it away for free!

?!?!?! I mean what the heck ?!?! What does one do? Nurse??? Hello?

I mentioned this to another friend of mine who happens to be a nurse. She works at a facility where the bathroom is outside the office and down the hall. So you have to carry your urine down the hall where there are other businesses. So imagine walking and bumping into people you know carrying your urine. AND you’re not even in a doctors office. They might be walking to their dentist’s office. And they see you walking down the hall carrying your urine? LOLOL Try hiding that while you’re having your quickie conversation. Nonchalanting putting it behind your back. LaLaLaLa, ” how are the kids?”, “how’s your golf game?”, “yes, it looks like rain”,  It’s no big deal.  Just keep walking with a urine filled cup. Don’t ask questions. Just keep making eye contact with me and then move on!

See how you can still find amusement during these pandemic filled days 🙂

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

The day starts out like any other day.  I just finished teaching an indoor aqua class, so I was all hot and sweaty.  I got into my car to drive to do an errand.   When I was done, before I started the car,  I decided to text my daughter to see how she’s doing.  We chit chat for a little bit (or tit text, new phrase I’m making up, you think it will catch on?) before I decide to just call her.  Amazing how we think it’s *easier* to text someone, when that involves typing, erasing, spelling, backspacing, grammar etc. Just pick up the phone!! 

So now if I’m going to talk to Morgan, I can’t just sit in my car.  Come on people, have to get my steps in.  And I’m already sweaty, so let’s move the body.  I start walking around the shopping center, which then turns into a business park.  Now let me tell you, this is CT.  And it’s a relatively new shopping/business area.  It’s just lovely.  And it’s a beautiful day out.  I keep walking, and I see a spanking new residential condo development.  I’ve seen it from the road but never from the “inside”.  In I walk.  Yes, I’m a tad nosy.  Curious is a better word.  

And what do I see?  A pool!  Shimmering in the sunshine!  Empty! An oasis in this heat.  And me dripping with sweat! It’s like it’s waiting just for me!  This is not like the indoor pool I’ve been teaching at for the past hour.  Doesn’t compare.  With the lounge chairs and the peacefulness and the trees in the background.  And, did I mention? Just for me! 

I go through the childproof gate, roll up my leggings, and dangle my legs in the pool.  Ahhhhh, I can’t tell you how good that felt.   How refreshing.  I’m telling Morgan how rebellious I feel, trespassing!  And hey, I look like I know what I’m doing.  Who’s going to say anything?  

What could go wrong?  

There is no way, by the time you finish reading this blog, you will have not shaken your head, cracked a smile, or at the very least, thought, “why on earth am I reading anything this woman is writing?  She is definitely not working with a full deck”.

Before I go on… I have to preface two things;

1–I was talking to my daughter when I walked into the pool area.  And we have lively conversations.  So I wasn’t paying attention.

2–You had to be there!!

I stayed by the pool with my feet in the water for about 20 minutes.  In that time, one woman came in, laid down on a lounge chair, face down, reading a novel.  Never looked at me or questioned anything.  I decide it’s now time for me to leave, I still had to walk back to car.  I walk to the gate to leave.  I can’t open the gate.  Yes, that’s right.  I can’t figure out how to open it up.  Yes, I’ve been to pools many times before.  Yes, I had to open it up to get in.  I’m discreetly pushing every lever, every button.  I’m telling Morgan on the phone I can’t get out.  She’s cracking up.  I’m cracking up but trying to do it quietly.   She’s telling me to send her a photo of the gate so she can help me.  She basically said I should just give up and gnaw my foot off.  I’m like, “How’s that going to help?”  She said “someone will see the blood and call the ambulance”.  

Now I have no choice but go to that woman laying down and ask her HOW to get out.  How’s that for embarrassing?!?  Are you feeling my pain?  Are you feeling my stupidity?  Can you believe my vulnerability for even writing this to the world?!?  Please be kind.  She’s so sweet.  She actually puts her book down and explains it to me.  I go over to the gate, and push knobs again.  And then….. she’s actually blaming herself that she didn’t explain it well enough to me.  The knobs are on the OUTSIDE of the gate so they can’t be seen from the pool side (inwardly she’s going OMG don’t they have some type of IQ tests for people to live here?).  I’m still laughing writing this.  I still say it’s a design flaw.  But obviously I pushed the knobs going in.  I have a modicum of knowledge of how to live in this world.  Of how things work.   I was just preoccupied, talking on the phone.  And I’ll say it again, YOU CANNOT SEE THE KNOBS FROM THE POOL SIDE!.    

This is not the best photo but I didn’t realize I’d be writing a blog about it at the time.  Suffice it to say, not my fault, design fault.  Enough said 🙂

I did get out of the pool area without anymore undue attention (the tune of Hotel California just came into my head, If you don’t understand why, message me and I’ll explain how my brain works)

If this story did end up making you smile and/or laugh then my job is done.  The world is a little bit of a happier place.  Feel free to pass along the story.  But also feel free to keep my name out of it 🙂

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

I’ve had a few wonderful trips in the past few months.  As many of you know, I love to travel.   I’m not a fan of posed photos or “selfies”.  And I don’t think posed photos show the true time one is having at that moment.  If someone has to yell “cheese” for you to smile….c’mon….did you really want to smile? why did someone have to say something to get you to smile? and nobody is EVER thinking about cheese at that moment (unless of course you’re at the Wisconsin Cheese Factory https://nationalhistoriccheesemakingcenter.org/cheese-factories/  –product placement, I’m getting big bucks for that!).  Yes, I know, smarty-pants, saying cheese is just a way to get you to show off your pearly whites       (https://www.pearliewhite.com/collections/toothpastes,   Ka ching Ka ching for product placement)

Recently I’ve gotten several compliments for two specific photos people have taken of me.  Why you ask?  Have I lost weight?  Gotten a new haircut?  Changed the color of my hair?  Different make-up?  Sucked in my stomach, pushed out my chest, lifted my arm so my tricep doesn’t dangle?  C’mon we all know these tricks!  Posed, so that my adjacent friend can pull back a possible double chin? (have you heard that trick?) None of these!   Both photos, my back was to the camera!!!   There was a bit of my profile showing.  I guess.  Maybe.

Another commonality?  In both photos, I wasn’t talking.  Now, of course, you can’t talk in photos, I understand that.  But you could tell I hadn’t been talking for awhile.  I was alone…contemplating.  Yes, I was actually pensive.  I think that’s what people liked about the photo.  Or I should say, surprised them–I CAN, at times, keep my mouth shut!  I can see the photographer thinking “Holy Crap—I just found a rare siting!  I must photograph this once in a lifetime moment.  Who knows when this will happen again?”

Full disclosure, the background of these photos was beautiful.  Sedona for one and the German countryside for the other.  So, let’s face it, you put yourself up next to a cute puppy and people are going to smile and feel good.  Is it you or the puppy?  Don’t ask!  Just take the compliment 🙂

And no, I’m am not going to put these photos in this post because then as readers you would feel the need to respond etc and that would be like Facebook.  And who needs more Facebook ?!?!

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

I’ve missed you guys!

And now I realize, at least for me, writing is kind of like exercise.   You stop doing it for a week and you forget how to get back into the groove.

I just came back from a 4 night cruise to Bahamas with some girlfriends.  The main reason? To swim with dolphins!!  And yes, I got to cross that off my bucket list.  And along the way we met some wonderful people.

Let’s just say that if a dolphin swim is on your “to do” list, Do It!  That’s not to say we didn’t have many hassles just getting to the dolphins (you’d think this was the first time a cruise line had to coordinate this type of thing). Deep breathing exercises were called upon—and I’m not talking while we’re in the water!  Plus let’s not forget the expense.  But again, totally worth it.  And before you start feeling bad for the dolphins (because yes, I was feeling bad;  why should these sweet creatures have to pull my weight along the water?). Most of the dolphins at Atlantis are rescue dolphins from Hurricane Katrina. And Brewer (our dolphins name) seemed to really love his trainer.  We were pulled by his fin and pushed while on boogie boards, got to feed him and pet him.   Just a delight!

On the Dolphin swim excursion we met two sisters from Chicago.  Both in high school.  So it was just the five of us.  Elena, Nancy (my friends) and I and the two of them.  They were so sweet and enjoying the event as much as us!  It’s amazing when you try something new, it doesn’t matter your age or where you’re from.  It brings you all on even ground and you have so much fun together.  The smiles on all our faces.  We met the girls again while on the ship and they shared with their parents how much fun they had with us!  30+ years older than them.

Now for some fun stories:

My friend Elena and I were walking towards the ship from the pier, with a mom and dad in their late 40’s and teenage son walking a few feet in front of us.  Walking toward us is a very shapely woman in a bikini and very high heels.  You know when you’re on vacation you see all shapes and sizes in all degrees of clothing.   I saw the father and son turn their heads a bit to look at the woman—not surprising.  But then the woman walks past them and now I see why they were looking ever closer than normal.  One boob was totally out of her bathing suit.  Just hanging out.  So, being the considerate person that I am, I walked over to her and told her discreetly that something was amiss.  She looked down, popped her boob back in, thanked me and kept walking.    She wasn’t horrified, or embarrassed or….anything.  Just popped it back in. If it was me, I’d be like….OMG, OMG, OMG covering myself up, crossing my arms, my legs everything!  Now I have to say covering her boob and not covering her boob is only the difference of about one inch.  So we’re not talking major coverage here anyway.  Thirty seconds pass and the mother in front of us turns to us with her mouth dropped.  I said, “ I bet your husband and son didn’t mind that.”   Anyone watch Seinfeld?  Nipple Sighting?

Earlier in the day, while on the pier, I was looking for somebody who sold Sky Juice.  It’s a yummy cocktail that I can only find in Bahamas.  Actually it’s even difficult to find in Bahamas.  They serve it at the establishment Fish Fry (outside of town) or, the last time I was there, at a pop-up tiki bar on the pier.  If you’re lucky it will even be served in a coconut.

The story:   The tiki pop-up wasn’t there.  I walked into restaurants and bars with no luck.  And I really want to share this drink with my friend who never had one.  So I walk up to these two non-tourists and ask them if they know where I can get some Sky Juice.  Besides the Fish Fry, they didn’t know of any other location.  “BUT”, they said, “we’ll make you some—what time is your ship leaving?”  Not knowing what to expect, I said, “soon—-But if you can make us some, sure we’ll wait”.   My girlfriend’s looking at me like I’m crazy.  One of the guys ran into the convenient store to get cups, ice, coconut water and sweetened condensed milk.  The other into the liquor store to buy the gin.  We followed him into the liquor store.  He was so sweet.  All the while, looking behind him, making sure we didn’t leave and if he was going quick enough (our ship really wasn’t leaving for hours).  We paid for the small bottle of gin and all three of us joined him and his friends ( now there’s two more guys) outside on the pier.  Because they didn’t have a can opener, he’s banging the can on the pier wall to open it up.  Then he pours the drinks back and forth between the two cups to make sure they are thoroughly mixed before I add the ice.  I know all you readers are shaking your heads, completely convinced I’m crazy.  I’ll insert a text from one our friends agreeing with you.  BUT,  I’ll have you know we tipped them well and the drinks were well worth it!!  And now I have a story to tell. P.S.—Please don’t try this at home.  The recipe yes, the experience, maybe not 🙂

Ingredients:

2 cups coconut water (4 green coconuts or 16oz canned/bottled juice)
1 cup gin (or white rum, if preferred)
1 cup sweetened condensed milk
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ tsp cinnamon

Texts from friends at home:

We also had so much fun playing trivia games, Pictionary, zooming around the ship on a scavenger hunt .  For the scavenger hunt, I went up to two different strangers sitting in a cafe’ asking if I could have whatever was on their plate because I needed a photo eating two different treats from that shop.  People are so helpful when they know it’s part of a game.  It’s like they want to be part of it also.  And I was thinking “outside of the box” because I wasn’t going to wait on line.  This was a race man!  And the trivia games?  We won TWO of them!  With absolutely no help from me.  My friends Elena and Nancy deserve all the credit for that.

OK, well this blog is longer than expected.  I guess once I start talking I can’t shut-up 🙂

Let’s see if I can remember how to publish this.

Talk to you soon.

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

It’s freezing outside.  Let’s delve deep into your personality and see what we can find shall we?  What fun!  What else to do on a cold winters day.  And for those of you in warmer climates….do you feel our pain, on the extent we have to go to keep ourselves warm and cozy? We have to read blogs written by someone who’s typing just to keep her fingers warm!

You’re having a conversation with your friends.  Do you ask interesting questions?  i.e.-, If you were granted three wishes…, If you were stuck on a deserted island, which one album would you want with you and why? What’s your biggest regret in life? (besides starting to read this blog 🙂  )  Or are you the type of person that likes to stay on the shallow part of the pool?  i.e.–What’s the weather like today?  Did you see Game of Thrones last night?  I really like your sweater.

There’s nothing wrong with either type.  But can you guess which side of the pool I dive into?  I love going deep.  The deeper the better—Keep your minds out of the gutter people–that’s for later :-).    As long as we can keep the vocabulary within 3 syllables I love delving into other peoples brains and seeing what makes them tick.  And if you think we have to be best friends for me to want this, think again!  I can have deep conversations with someone I just met 2 minutes ago.  And if you don’t believe me ask my friends and family….much to their chagrin.

The reason for me, is that I want to get to know people.  Even if it’s just a five minute conversation.  People are interesting.  Just the other day, I started talking to a 40ish man reading a graphic novel by Neil Gaiman.  I’ve always been curious about graphic novels but from the adult point of view.  And I found something in common…I recognized the name Neil Gaiman.  Then we started talking about his teenage daughter and trying to get her interested in reading etc.  This to me, is so much more interesting than the weather!

A few years back, while waiting at the airport with my daughter, I saw three, what looked like, rappers coming down the stairs.  All three had white washcloths.  And they were coming from the arrivals section of the airport, so I was curious.  So I asked them.  And they stopped and talked with me and we had some laughs.  I honestly can’t remember the reason for the washcloths.  All I can remember is my daughters reaction.  “Mom, you can get anyone to stop and talk to you-unbelievable”.

Little anecdote:  My husband and I and another couple were at this fancy country club restaurant down south (they are not as open down south as they are up north-at least from MY experience).   At the other side of the restaurant sat two tables of about 5-6 people each.  Women at one table, men at the other.  Obviously, couples separated.  From afar, I was trying to figure out who matched up with whom (who?).  Can you guess what happened next?  It wasn’t “afar” for long.  With my husband and friends practically begging me not to, I merrily went over to their tables to start chit-chatting with them.  These were couples in their early 70s.  Married for quite some time.  I told them I wanted to see if I could match them up.  Most of them were game for this.  One was NOT.  One did not share my enthusiasm of meeting new people, conversing with them and seeing compatibility.  I think problem in boudoir more than problem with ME! But did I let that deter me?  What do you think?  Did I do a good job of matching up?  Well no.  But that’s because I didn’t have time to ask probing questions.  See how I did that nice little circle of rounding this blog up?  If I had time, and that woman wasn’t giving me the evil eye, I would have felt more compelled to do a more thorough job!

Get to know the stranger next to you.  It might be me and I’ll write a blog about you 🙂

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.