Sometimes the brain just doesn’t work

The day starts out like any other day.  I just finished teaching an indoor aqua class, so I was all hot and sweaty.  I got into my car to drive to do an errand.   When I was done, before I started the car,  I decided to text my daughter to see how she’s doing.  We chit chat for a little bit (or tit text, new phrase I’m making up, you think it will catch on?) before I decide to just call her.  Amazing how we think it’s *easier* to text someone, when that involves typing, erasing, spelling, backspacing, grammar etc. Just pick up the phone!! 

So now if I’m going to talk to Morgan, I can’t just sit in my car.  Come on people, have to get my steps in.  And I’m already sweaty, so let’s move the body.  I start walking around the shopping center, which then turns into a business park.  Now let me tell you, this is CT.  And it’s a relatively new shopping/business area.  It’s just lovely.  And it’s a beautiful day out.  I keep walking, and I see a spanking new residential condo development.  I’ve seen it from the road but never from the “inside”.  In I walk.  Yes, I’m a tad nosy.  Curious is a better word.  

And what do I see?  A pool!  Shimmering in the sunshine!  Empty! An oasis in this heat.  And me dripping with sweat! It’s like it’s waiting just for me!  This is not like the indoor pool I’ve been teaching at for the past hour.  Doesn’t compare.  With the lounge chairs and the peacefulness and the trees in the background.  And, did I mention? Just for me! 

person feet dipping on pool

I go through the childproof gate, roll up my leggings, and dangle my legs in the pool.  Ahhhhh, I can’t tell you how good that felt.   How refreshing.  I’m telling Morgan how rebellious I feel, trespassing!  And hey, I look like I know what I’m doing.  Who’s going to say anything?  

What could go wrong?  

There is no way, by the time you finish reading this blog, you will have not shaken your head, cracked a smile, or at the very least, thought, “why on earth am I reading anything this woman is writing?  She is definitely not working with a full deck”.

Before I go on… I have to preface two things;

1–I was talking to my daughter when I walked into the pool area.  And we have lively conversations.  So I wasn’t paying attention.

2–You had to be there!!

I stayed by the pool with my feet in the water for about 20 minutes.  In that time, one woman came in, laid down on a lounge chair, face down, reading a novel.  Never looked at me or questioned anything.  I decide it’s now time for me to leave, I still had to walk back to car.  I walk to the gate to leave.  I can’t open the gate.  Yes, that’s right.  I can’t figure out how to open it up.  Yes, I’ve been to pools many times before.  Yes, I had to open it up to get in.  I’m discreetly pushing every lever, every button.  I’m telling Morgan on the phone I can’t get out.  She’s cracking up.  I’m cracking up but trying to do it quietly.   She’s telling me to send her a photo of the gate so she can help me.  She basically said I should just give up and gnaw my foot off.  I’m like, “How’s that going to help?”  She said “someone will see the blood and call the ambulance”.  

Now I have no choice but go to that woman laying down and ask her HOW to get out.  How’s that for embarrassing?!?  Are you feeling my pain?  Are you feeling my stupidity?  Can you believe my vulnerability for even writing this to the world?!?  Please be kind.  She’s so sweet.  She actually puts her book down and explains it to me.  I go over to the gate, and push knobs again.  And then….. she’s actually blaming herself that she didn’t explain it well enough to me.  The knobs are on the OUTSIDE of the gate so they can’t be seen from the pool side (inwardly she’s going OMG don’t they have some type of IQ tests for people to live here?).  I’m still laughing writing this.  I still say it’s a design flaw.  But obviously I pushed the knobs going in.  I have a modicum of knowledge of how to live in this world.  Of how things work.   I was just preoccupied, talking on the phone.  And I’ll say it again, YOU CANNOT SEE THE KNOBS FROM THE POOL SIDE!.    IMG_0790.jpg

This is not the best photo but I didn’t realize I’d be writing a blog about it at the time.  Suffice it to say, not my fault, design fault.  Enough said 🙂

I did get out of the pool area without anymore undue attention (the tune of Hotel California just came into my head, If you don’t understand why, message me and I’ll explain how my brain works)

If this story did end up making you smile and/or laugh then my job is done.  The world is a little bit of a happier place.  Feel free to pass along the story.  But also feel free to keep my name out of it 🙂


Itlbok, really!

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9 thoughts on “Sometimes the brain just doesn’t work

  1. OMG, Laura, you had me in stitches here. The details are so well-written that I can mentally picture every second of the phone call, the cool, beckoning water, and your harried escape. Hats off!!!

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