Who says I’m opinionated?

Difference of opinions.  Tons of opinions in all shapes and sizes.  Whose opinion is correct?  Well mine of course!  🙂  Just kidding.

It’s funny.  I never thought I was an opinionated person until years ago my husband compared me to his step-mother who was extremely opinionated.  But then I thought about it.  Oh yeah….I am opinionated.  And the older I get, the louder I get with my opinions.  BUT the difference with me?   I love hearing other people’s opinions.

I just saw the movie The Black Panther the other day and a friend of mine asked if the people of Wakanda (whom the Black Panther is king of) were acting amoral, evil or ignorant.  Don’t worry, you needn’t have seen the movie for this question to be relevant.  And I said I saw both sides.  He just laughed and said “of course you did”.

At first I was hurt thinking he was making fun of me.  But then I realized, I love having the ability to see both sides of the story. When you try to see both peoples point of view, it diffuses anger.  There’s more understanding.  I’m not saying complete understanding mind you!  But I think MOST people and populations want the same things from life.  We just go about it differently.

I’ve tried to teach my children that and I’m happy to say I think they’ve learned it well.  Many times one of my kids has been a mediator between myself and their other sibling.  Not siding with either of us but explaining to each of us what the other person is trying to say.  Incredibly helpful.

I remember when President Trump got elected.  I was in Bahamas, and I was seriously interested in why people voted the way they did.  Even in Bahamas (not that they can vote in the US but they have opinions because what happens in America effects them) two different people with two very different opinions.  Now I know many people would be terrified to ask how and specifically WHY others voted the way they did.  But you know what?  If you ask gently, really wanting to know, out of curiosity, and not in a defensive manner…..and then just sit back and listen…..people will tell you.  And you can actually learn things.  IF you listen and not spend your time thinking up defensive responses!  No fights, no arguments.  Just a nice peaceful discussion.  Remember, you’re not trying to change people’s minds.  You’re trying to gain knowledge and understanding.

Can it be difficult if you’re trying to form a definitive response?  Yes.  Would other people consider it wishy-washy?  I’m sure.  But who cares?  Seriously–who cares??  Think what you want.  But listen to what other people have to say.  Really listen.  If it makes sense, keep it.  If it doesn’t move on.

And please don’t think I’m always good with this.  Sometimes I just think people are nuts and/or should be on medication!   And/or I’m the person that’s nuts or I’m PMSing.  Sometimes I AM right and you ARE wrong!  Or is that just my husband?  🙂  As he likes to say, he never knew he had so many things wrong with him until he married me.  Hey-that’s what I’m here for!


Itlbok, really!

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How Deep do you Go?

It’s freezing outside.  Let’s delve deep into your personality and see what we can find shall we?  What fun!  What else to do on a cold winters day.  And for those of you in warmer climates….do you feel our pain, on the extent we have to go to keep ourselves warm and cozy? We have to read blogs written by someone who’s typing just to keep her fingers warm!

You’re having a conversation with your friends.  Do you ask interesting questions?  i.e.-, If you were granted three wishes…, If you were stuck on a deserted island, which one album would you want with you and why? What’s your biggest regret in life? (besides starting to read this blog 🙂  )  Or are you the type of person that likes to stay on the shallow part of the pool?  i.e.–What’s the weather like today?  Did you see Game of Thrones last night?  I really like your sweater.

There’s nothing wrong with either type.  But can you guess which side of the pool I dive into?  I love going deep.  The deeper the better—Keep your minds out of the gutter people–that’s for later :-).    As long as we can keep the vocabulary within 3 syllables I love delving into other peoples brains and seeing what makes them tick.  And if you think we have to be best friends for me to want this, think again!  I can have deep conversations with someone I just met 2 minutes ago.  And if you don’t believe me ask my friends and family….much to their chagrin.

The reason for me, is that I want to get to know people.  Even if it’s just a five minute conversation.  People are interesting.  Just the other day, I started talking to a 40ish man reading a graphic novel by Neil Gaiman.  I’ve always been curious about graphic novels but from the adult point of view.  And I found something in common…I recognized the name Neil Gaiman.  Then we started talking about his teenage daughter and trying to get her interested in reading etc.  This to me, is so much more interesting than the weather!

A few years back, while waiting at the airport with my daughter, I saw three, what looked like, rappers coming down the stairs.  All three had white washcloths.  And they were coming from the arrivals section of the airport, so I was curious.  So I asked them.  And they stopped and talked with me and we had some laughs.  I honestly can’t remember the reason for the washcloths.  All I can remember is my daughters reaction.  “Mom, you can get anyone to stop and talk to you-unbelievable”.

Little antidote:  My husband and I and another couple were at this fancy country club restaurant down south (they are not as open down south as they are up north-at least from MY experience).   At the other side of the restaurant sat two tables of about 5-6 people each.  Women at one table, men at the other.  Obviously, couples separated.  From afar, I was trying to figure out who matched up with whom (who?).  Can you guess what happened next?  It wasn’t “afar” for long.  With my husband and friends practically begging me not to, I merrily went over to their tables to start chit-chatting with them.  These were couples in their early 70s.  Married for quite some time.  I told them I wanted to see if I could match them up.  Most of them were game for this.  One was NOT.  One did not share my enthusiasm of meeting new people, conversing with them and seeing compatibility.  I think problem in boudoir more than problem with ME! But did I let that deter me?  What do you think?  Did I do a good job of matching up?  Well no.  But that’s because I didn’t have time to ask probing questions.  See how I did that nice little circle of rounding this blog up?  If I had time, and that woman wasn’t giving me the evil eye, I would have felt more compelled to do a more thorough job!

Get to know the stranger next to you.  It might be me and I’ll write a blog about you 🙂


Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.