Tag Archives: funny

Telemedicine

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Hello fellow pandemic people!  Which is pretty much the whole world!!  Can I just say that I am with you in this time of change.  I just had to say that.  My kids and I just had a whole conversation about how every commercial and every email from businesses has started this way.  And now, I’m a little pissed off from the businesses that haven’t emailed me to tell me that they are with me!  Hey, furniture store that I bought a couch from last summer–are you not there for me?  Copy store, where are you?  Why aren’t you here when I need you?  Beauty supply store?  Hello?  Do you not care about me?  Sigh……

I have to tell you what has worked out really well in this staying home/virtual time of ours-  Telemedicine.  I had my annual gynocologist appointment during these months.  I was given a choice of going into the office or staying home and having the appointment online.  I’m thinking-hey, I don’t have to drive, go to a sterile doctors office, no mask wearing–no brainer.

Let me tell you ladies, this is the way to go.  I got all the instructions in the mail and it really is very simple and much more comfortable than in the office.  You get to be in your own bedroom, total privacy, you warm the instruments to your temperature etc.  Once you get the camera angle correct, the rest is easy.  They mail you the instruments (utensils?) in a sterile package, so no worry about that.  Yes, it takes a little finagaling to use them correctly, but if you go to the gym or do yoga, you can do it.  They are sized longer for individal use vs the doctors use. You lay on your bed with your computer near your legs.  It’s kind of like a zoom call.  The doctor tells you to move left, right, closer etc.  You get your sample and boom, you’re done! You mail your sample in a sealed envelope and voila, you don’t have to go to the gyno for another year!!

Now, you’re probably thinking, Laura, you are crazy for doing this.  And if I did do this, yes, I would be crazy.  Because this is totally made up.  But I bet I had you going for awhile didn’t I?  This is a crazy world we’re living in and who knows what the next thing is around the corner.

I will say, I did have a gynocologist appointment but I did go to the office.  And what I thought was funny is that I’m practically naked, BUT I still had my mask on!!!  So everything else is uncovered for the world to see except for my mouth!  Kind of seems a little insulting?  Or is that a compliment?  I’m not sure.  But whatever it is, it’s now a visual for you people!  You’re welcome LOL.  Please make me firmer and stronger in the visual that you have of me 🙂

I think I’m back in the groove of writing.  So hopefully you’ll see more of these blogs!

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

Who says I’m opinionated?

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Difference of opinions.  Tons of opinions in all shapes and sizes.  Whose opinion is correct?  Well mine of course!  🙂  Just kidding.

It’s funny.  I never thought I was an opinionated person until years ago my husband compared me to his step-mother who was extremely opinionated.  But then I thought about it.  Oh yeah….I am opinionated.  And the older I get, the louder I get with my opinions.  BUT the difference with me?   I love hearing other people’s opinions.

I just saw the movie The Black Panther the other day and a friend of mine asked if the people of Wakanda (whom the Black Panther is king of) were acting amoral, evil or ignorant.  Don’t worry, you needn’t have seen the movie for this question to be relevant.  And I said I saw both sides.  He just laughed and said “of course you did”.

At first I was hurt thinking he was making fun of me.  But then I realized, I love having the ability to see both sides of the story. When you try to see both peoples point of view, it diffuses anger.  There’s more understanding.  I’m not saying complete understanding mind you!  But I think MOST people and populations want the same things from life.  We just go about it differently.

I’ve tried to teach my children that and I’m happy to say I think they’ve learned it well.  Many times one of my kids has been a mediator between myself and their other sibling.  Not siding with either of us but explaining to each of us what the other person is trying to say.  Incredibly helpful.

I remember when President Trump got elected.  I was in Bahamas, and I was seriously interested in why people voted the way they did.  Even in Bahamas (not that they can vote in the US but they have opinions because what happens in America effects them) two different people with two very different opinions.  Now I know many people would be terrified to ask how and specifically WHY others voted the way they did.  But you know what?  If you ask gently, really wanting to know, out of curiosity, and not in a defensive manner…..and then just sit back and listen…..people will tell you.  And you can actually learn things.  IF you listen and not spend your time thinking up defensive responses!  No fights, no arguments.  Just a nice peaceful discussion.  Remember, you’re not trying to change people’s minds.  You’re trying to gain knowledge and understanding.

Can it be difficult if you’re trying to form a definitive response?  Yes.  Would other people consider it wishy-washy?  I’m sure.  But who cares?  Seriously–who cares??  Think what you want.  But listen to what other people have to say.  Really listen.  If it makes sense, keep it.  If it doesn’t move on.

And please don’t think I’m always good with this.  Sometimes I just think people are nuts and/or should be on medication!   And/or I’m the person that’s nuts or I’m PMSing.  Sometimes I AM right and you ARE wrong!  Or is that just my husband?  🙂  As he likes to say, he never knew he had so many things wrong with him until he married me.  Hey-that’s what I’m here for!

Remember,

Itlbok, really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

 

 

 

Good Morning!

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How was your morning?  Is there something in your morning routine that makes you smile and/or should I say, giggle?  

I am a morning person.  And I know you night people hate us.  We pretty much do jump out of bed with energy and desire to check things off our list.  I start babbling to anyone who will listen (actually listening is not a prerequisite).  Now morning people definitely have a downside–afternoon slump, nighttime social life is practically nil etc.  But I don’t want to focus on that for now.  

I love getting things done before the rest of my family wakes up.  Before most of the country wakes up.  I love driving to work toward the east and watching the sunrise.  Every time I see a beautiful sunrise while driving, I’ll look around at others in their car to see if they see it. I’m amazed that no one else around me is in awe or even notices the beauty.  I want to roll down my window and point to the sky but I’m afraid they might think I’m a loony.   

Now one thing that I’ve been doing for years during my morning routine, that I didn’t even NOTICE was bringing me down, was watching the news while dressing.   Even 15 minutes of the news, for me, is like watching a balloon deflate slowly.  The life just comes out of me.  But what can I do?  I have to watch the news.   I have to know what’s going on in the world.  And I’m certainly not a news junkie.  I don’t go crazy on Facebook or Fox/CNN because I know I’m not the type of person that can handle 24 news without it affecting me.  Heck 15 minutes affects me.  

So….I found 2 ways to fix that!

One….I actually found a “Cliff Notes” for the daily news.  It’s called theSkimm.  Perfect for me.  One page.  Nothing emotional.  No photos, no angry rants.  I read it, get in, get out…bing bang boom! If I want more information on something, I look later on.   I know that’s not enough for everyone–but that’s why we’re all different.  But it works for me.  I’m not as “heavy” on a daily basis as I was before.  (Yes, very easy for me to make a weight joke right here but it’s toooooooo easy 🙂  

Two…I love this.  I’ve started using my inversion table. unnamedYou know for upside-down ab workouts.  Hahahaha.    No–for low back stretching.  It’s part of my morning routine.  And my little puppy dog, Beaux always comes to lick my face.  My face is right at his level now.  And there’s nothing I can do about it.  Totally makes me start giggling.  Every morning.  How’s that for a great start to a morning?  Giggling because your dog is loving you, or getting depressed watching the news?  Your choice. 

Now obviously, the dog licking is not everyone’s cup of tea (following will be a funny story about the dog licking).  But find something that makes you smile–sunrise, fresh air…step outside, in your robe for 10 seconds and breath in the fresh morning air (if nothing else you’ll help your neighbor with their morning smile seeing you in all your morning glory.  Whether you’re a …..download or….. 4ced3d3209c82838fe512e1042e21f59 Who cares!  You’re neighbor needs something to make him smile too!  Don’t be selfish 🙂   Just DO Something that makes you smile during your morning routine.  

And just to finish with a funny story –  Dog licking is not all giggles and smiles of course.  Normally it drives me crazy when he licks my face.  But when you’re in the upside-down position and can’t do anything about it…and all he’s doing is loving you…..you have to just let it go and embrace it.  BUT, his tongue got into my nostril ( I guess I should be happy it wasn’t my mouth, which has happened more times than my husband’s tongue has gone into my mouth I’ll tell ya!!!)  And I could tell he went into the cat’s litter box. Yep-kitty poop scent (and whatever else) was in my nose.  How do I write the next sentence?  Do I need to write the next sentence?  And my little Beaux-Beaux is sitting on my lap at this very moment while I type this, looking at me, going “what, what, did I do something?”.  Actually what he’s really thinking is “your typing is bothering me, can you type quieter?”.   

Go and find something to make you smile and possibly giggle withing the first hour of the morning.  It will make and everyone else you meet that day happier!

Remember,

ITLBOK, Really

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

Smile, someone’s watching

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So here’s something interesting that happened to me the other day.  It’s the first day of a new class that I’m taking.  Yes-I’m taking another mindfulness class, I like it that much.  Plus I fell off the wagon during the holidays.  BUT that doesn’t matter, does it?  Because, the important thing is that I’m choosing to start up again!  Anyway, that’s not the point of the story 🙂

As soon as I walk in, a woman from my first mindfulness class, (let’s call her Marty-I don’t know if she wants anonymity or not), was so happy to see me.  She said she was specifically thinking of me this morning and wondering if I would be in this class.  We hugged and she was truly smiling.   Now I remember this woman from the other class but we never had a deep connection.  She sat on the other side of the room of 25 people.  I could tell that she was going through some painful issues, not that anything specific was ever mentioned.  Our personalities, I’m guessing are totally different.  She’s petite, very quiet, kind of in her own cocoon.  I’m more vocal (obviously), take up more space just by spreading and stretching my limbs whenever I want to, crack jokes whether the timing is completely appropriate.  You get my point in our differences.  Think of quiet deer vs noisy chipmunk!

So where am I going with this?!?  You–the universal you–never know how you’re going to affect another person!  How people see you–what do you want them to see?  I’m asking, not judging.  For me, I don’t want them to see the nicest person, or the prettiest person, or the funniest person (I mean you can if you WANT to 🙂 )  I want them to see a REAL person!  With all their ups and downs and flaws and greatness.  Heck, I’ll walk into Barnes & Noble (my hangout) and tell all who’s listening, “I’m in a grumpy mood, watch out!”  I figure if you give fair warning….

But this is the real me.  Took me years to get here.  And I think you should try and be the real you.  Not everyone is going to like it.  Another lesson I learned from being a fitness instructor with lots of different classes taught by different instructors.  You have to be you.  Some people will like your classes and some will want to go to another instructor.  But that’s OK.  It really is!  This way, you’re having fun in your class and so are your students.  Just like life….you’re having fun in life and so are the people around you!

But just like how this other woman remembered me and actually CARED whether or not I was in class…….That’s how much affect you can have on people just by…….wait for it…….can you guess what I’m going to say?……

Just by smiling at someone!!!!  Yes I said it!  IMG_4590  OK maybe this smile is a little over the top….you might get put in the loony bin if you look like this at strangers!  

You smile at someone holding a door for you.  Maybe even say hello, thank you, make a small joke–anything.  That small act will make them smile.  That interaction will put a tiny pep in their step and they will smile to someone else.  And so on, and so on.  I kid you not!  Specifically people that WON’T smile.  You get the most bang for your buck with them!  They take more effort getting a smile out of them but it’s worth it.  I know you’ve heard this before….smile, pass it forward, blah blah blah.   But come on–it can’t hurt!  Takes two seconds.   What’s the worse that can happen?  You put a crease in your cheek?

So go out tomorrow, look around at all the people.   You never know who’s watching and who’s day you will make!!!

Remember,

ITLBOK,Really

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

 

Did I remember to write my Blog this week?

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I have a theory ( I always have a new theory!).  The Universe is addling my brain to help me get my 10,000 steps! 

I’m sure 2/3 of my non-formal exercise steps are looking for things.  Looking for my coffee mug, water bottle, car keys, purse, book bag, Iphone, novel, items I put out to be “organized”, bills etc.  All this adds thousands to my step count.  I’m not just circling the house I’m going north-south, east-west, north-east, west-south …..looks more like a Spirograph f8bb9f94e7cdfc45b04861d9e7a0b895--spirograph-art-stringart (1)than a circle.  That’s what I look like running around the house!

And then when I finally find what I’m looking for?!  I look at it positively….”well at least I added many steps to my Fitbit”.  Wait, if only I could see the numbers on my pedometer.  Where are my eyeglasses?  And around I go again.  Of course two pairs of glasses already on top of my head.  IMG_4649 (2)

This is for women over 50…how many times has this happened to you.  I’m driving in the car, pretending I have everything under control….I just say to myself, “It’ll click, it’ll click.  I’ll figure out where I’m going.  Just let me figure it out before I pass the turn I need, that’s all I ask”.  And most of the time my brain reacts accordingly!  Thank you brain.  See, life is good 🙂

My goodness I feel sorry for people who don’t have a good sense of humor!  How on earth are you going to make it through these times if you’re tough on yourself?!?  I crack up at myself all the time.  Of course laughing at myself, WHEN being by myself used to look odd in the past but not anymore.   Not in the days of Bluetooth and ear buds.  THEY (other people) don’t know you’re not talking to another hilarious person.  THEY don’t know you’re just happy having this wonderful conversation in your own mind.  The only time I run into a snag is when I start talking and assume the person I’m with has heard the dialogue in the my head.  I can’t tell you how many times my daughter has said, “mom, I know that makes sense to you, but I haven’t heard the conversation that led up to what you just blurted out”.  She’s practically patting my hand, and cooing at me with a soothing voice.  I can see her mentally filling out applications to a senior living facility! Heck, I like the chit-chat in my head.  I’m pretty funny and not bad company if I do say so myself! 

Another good thing about starting to go a little loony this early in my lifetime (of course, some may say I’ve always been this way, and I think I would have to agree).  If I end up with Alzheimers or dementia, who will know?  My husband and kids know I’ve been like this for years.  So, the memory is not as good as it used to be.  There are worse things.  Forgetting the little things forces me to be more organized.  And makes me realize the “little” things – if I forgot – obviously are not that important.  Peoples names, birthdays, etc are still “little” things.  People themselves, they are the BIG things.  And THAT I haven’t forgotten!!  

So don’t be hard on yourself!  Laugh, it’s no big deal!

Remember,

ITLBOK, Really

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

Happy New Year! Self-improvement time!

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Happy New Year!

Well I just learned something about myself – Writing is very similar to Exercise!  If I don’t do it for more than a few days, It’s very difficult to get back to it—almost scary!

I took the month of December off from my blog writing.  Thank you so much for those of you that noticed.  I love you!  And I’d like to say that I took it off intentionally.  If I have to be honest, (and what’s the point of a blog if you’re not honest?) Not really. Just one week off led to another, which led to another.  I kept looking at the computer thinking, I should blog, I really should blog.  And like exercise, that first day back was not easy.  But once I sat down at the computer and started typing, I remembered how enjoyable it is.  Just like exercise.  You start moving, and you remember how good it feels!  How many of you are thinking “is this girl for real?”  Remember I’m a fitness instructor. Your body loves to move.  Can you at least pretend you agree with me?  Thanks 🙂

Now I LOVE December.  I love the holidays.  I love the decorations and the gift buying and the crowds and the Hallmark movies and all the festivities.  I think 4-6 weeks is much too short a time.  I love the chill in the air, and the food and the fancy drinks and the friend and family get-togethers.  My husband is Catholic and I am Jewish.  Neither of us are religious.  I consider myself culturely Jewish.  But I would call myself a Born Again Christmas Person.  I love Christmas!

BUT I do so enjoy January.  I really do enjoy routine.  I enjoy getting back to my normal habits, my normal eating, uncluttering the house (not the tree, the tree with lights stays up until the pine needles fall when you blow on it).  I love thinking of January as a clean slate. Don’t we all?  Come on, how many self-improvement books have you bought?  It’s January 5 and I already have 3.  Will I read them all the way through?  Of course not!  But just starting them is refreshing!  Like taking a shower.  It’s a renewal process.  If I get just one good nugget of information that sticks with me it’s worth the $20 I paid for the book.  Heck, this year I even bought new highlighters!  I’m a crazy person.

I don’t make resolutions.  The rebellious part of me would just poo-poo it.  One of my books is about habits.  Why habits work for some people and not for others.  How your personality defines which habits work best for you etc.  There are four categories and I am definitely part Rebel!  I can’t even tell MYSELF to do something or I may rebel against it!  BUT I’m also part Upstanding.  If I put it on a to-do list and give myself plenty of time, then I’ll do it.  Make sense?  Human beings are such interesting creatures, aren’t we?

There are sooooo many self improvement books out there.  Just walking through the bookstore makes you feel like a better person.  It’s like walking through Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s.  Don’t you feel healthier just by shopping there?  Heck-you can be buying nothing but non-gmo organic popcorn and chips but within minutes you feel like you’ve lost 5 pounds and substantially healthier.

If you do start browsing books, here’s a tip, skip the ones that don’t have a sense of humor. Who needs that?  And skip any fads—we’ve all been there, done that.  We all just want to keep improving-or else we get complacent.  And improving is like replacing the battery in the Energizer Bunny.  It puts a hop in our step.  And improving can mean something so small – as to finally admitting to ourselves we’re never going to sew on that button so let’s finally get rid of that shirt!!  Yes, that’s an improvement!  You are clearing something from your mind as well as your closet!  Trying to eat healthy?  You can start with eating one extra piece of fruit a day.  Exercise?  Work out once a week.  Media addiction?  Turn it off just one evening a week.  In other words you don’t have to be Superman or Superwoman.  Just be the fun wonderful person you already are—just a little tiny bit improved 🙂

Oh wow, when did I turn into this motivational speaker?

I need to go now and get a martini, a brownie and watch Mike and Molly.

Do as I say and not as I do 🙂

Remember,

ITLBOK, Really!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

Keeping the lines of communication open by keeping your mouth shut.

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beach stock photoAhhhhh, the joys of having young adult kids in your life.  No more worries, no more being concerned about their actions or decisions.  Just basking in the awareness that they’ve absorbed all the knowledge that you’ve given forth.  You can now enjoy conversations with them about philosophies of life, PBS and the wonderful upbringing they had. 

All your worries and fears are over.  My theory is once your kids are 21, nothing bad can happen to them.  I’ve written it down, it’s now on the World Wide Web so it’s fact!  I also live on this beautiful little isle.  It’s the isle of De……Denial.  Lovely little place…..come grab a tropical drink and join me……beach stock photo

 

 

I have a son and daughter, 23 and 21 respectively.  Both really good kids, went to college, don’t do drugs (at least not in front of me-just kidding), minimally curse (at least not in front of me), no jail time and not pregnant (not that there’s anything wrong with that if you have kids that are pregnant.  I’m just glad mine have decided to wait before bringing kids into this world).   So again, I repeat, really good kids.  If only I knew how to talk to them!!!   I finally learned how to deal with teenagers.  Sort of—Basically count to ten, breathe, take nothing personally and wait for them to go to college.  But I didn’t really get that until about two years ago when they were already out of the teenage years!  Now I’ve got a new age group to learn about!  

You’re supposed to talk to them like adult but can’t really talk to them like they’re adults.  I’ve tried that.  I’ve tried talking to them, asking about their friends, their social lives, their futures……whoooooooo boooooyyyyyyy.    They did not respond like any adult friends I know!!  My adult friends LIKE my advice and/or suggestions.   Let’s just say my children don’t seem to see things the same way I do. Yeah, that’s a good way to put it.  But I have SUCH GOOD ADVICE TO GIVE!!!! Or so I think 🙂  Apparently not!  I am learning advice is not something any child of mine wants.  

I have to say though, the other day my daughter and I spent the whole day together in Boston and had the best time  we’ve had in months.  Rules were set though (here’s a switch, the rules were set by her, not me).  No bringing up her boyfriend nor her future.  It worked!  We had a great time.  We discussed how it’s a balancing act for me.  How parenting a child in their 20’s is a learning curve, (as is being a person in your 20’s) and by the time I get it right, they will be married with kids of their own.  And then the balancing act will be ….mom, I need your help raising my kids because you did a really good job raising us, BUT I don’t want to make the same mistakes you did…. AND things are totally different now, I can’t believe I survived the mistakes YOUR generation made….help me but don’t get too involved….etc.

Besides, we decided there will be an app for parenting by the time the next generation populates the world.  Iparenting it will be called.  Steve Jobs didn’t want to be around when it came out.  It will be available on Iphone 36.  Depending on your insurance plan, your in hospital delivery may even come with the Iparenting app included.   My daughter’s looking forward to the Iepidural.  You will have to pay extra for the upgrade but it will be worth it.  Just think– Baby’s crying? Just push the mute button,— youngster has no friends? Tiny Toons Tinder,–Child soiled their clothes?  Drone delivery service to drop fresh clean clothes in your lap!  

Yes, kids are fun, the roller-coaster of life. 

Oh, and they’re also good for making you feel old.  My daughter and I both have long curly hair.  Mine is auburn with streaks of golden brown  (totally natural from the sun :-))  and hers is dark goth black (as natural as mine!)  Walking down the streets of Boston, a guy on a skateboard  skates by and says, “love your hair, miss”.  And the torch has been passed! 

 Remember,

Itlbok, Really

PS- Per my MBSR-mindfulness meditation class that I’m taking, I will be on an all day silent retreat this Sunday, 9:00-4:30.  No talking, no eye contact, no hand gestures.  Guess what next weeks blog will be about!!  Heck it might have to be audio!!!

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

 

Hard Headed Laura and her dog Beaux-Beaux too

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Yes, I know I missed writing my blog last week, but I have a really good reason.  The best reason!  A tree limb tried to get the best of me.  Little did that branch know who it was dealing with.  Not only do I have a large head but it’s pretty hard and tough!  Many people have said it takes a lot to get through my thick skull—How right they are!

Two weeks ago I was walking my little dog Beaux,unnamed and listening to music on my cell phone—but not using headphones which I think may have saved my life.  Or at the very least my hair.  I heard a crack above me.  That’s a sound that makes you stop and think when you’re walking around New England in October.  I saw the limbtree limb but just couldn’t move away in time.  My husband swears I threw my body on top of my dog to save him from bodily harm.   My cute little 15 pound Beaux-Beaux.  Now if I thought of that, I probably would have, but not much thinking took place.

Next thing I knew, Clunk on head, slowly I went down (really it was like slow motion) and I was on the ground.  Just like in the movies.  On my back, hands out to my side bent by my ears, knees bent, like a chalk outline. chalk outline

 

Beaux was by my side but I didn’t have his leash.  I don’t know how long I was laying there—not too long.  Three men heard the crack and came to investigate and saw me on the ground.  Now this road is a dead end with about five houses on it.  If they didn’t come out to check out the sound,  I don’t know how long it would have taken for someone to find me.  This isn’t my block that I normally walk my dog.  Long story short…..they saw the blood, called an ambulance and sent me to a trauma unit.

Again JUST like tv….Good thing the EMT guy warned me or else I would have thought I was dying.  He said, once I bring you into the hospital six people are going to ascend upon you like you’re a turkey at the Thanksgiving dinner. They’ll talk to you and manipulate you all at once.  Don’t worry—let them do it all.  Since I knew I was OK it was fascinating.  But I’m glad he warned me.  And since they don’t waste time getting your info, my bracelet says Jane Doe-how cool is that!  I kept the bracelet.  Haven’t we always, just for a time….wanted to be Jane Doe?  No bills, no responsibilities, just going thru life, la la la la la.  Anyway back to story.

I had one of those neck collars put on me before I got into the ambulance, you know in case of spinal injuries.  And the doctor said, “ok we’re going to have to cut off you’re sweatshirt to get it over the collar”.  Now—Just that morning I said to myself, “ It’s been so warm all season, I haven’t been able to wear my favorite sweatshirt (it’s a black sweatshirt with beautiful autumn leaves—so it’s very seasonal, and with this climate change, autumn is turning into just a long summer).    I really want to wear my autumn sweatshirt today!”  (Yes,  I really said this to myself.  And yes I have fascinating conversations like this with myself all the time.  And sadly, now you’re reading about these fascinating conversations.  I just can’t understand why I’m not making money on these blogs!!)  So when the doctor said he wanted to cut it off—No No.  I asked him to please not cut off my favorite sweatshirt :-). And he said he could work around it and saved my sweatshirt.  See, as long as you’re not dying, all you have to do is ask nicely 🙂  But really, isn’t it pretty?Autumn sweatshirt  Half of you are agreeing with me, half of you are shaking your head, I know.    LOL

And THEN, when another doctor said she would have to shave part of my head to put in staples I said, “please don’t shave my head, my hair is my best part of me”.  I mean, I’m not exactly Rapunzel but it’s still my best physical quality.  Obviously they realized I wasn’t dying or paralyzed.  She said OK, some hair would just also get stapled. No problem.  Was there lots of dried blood—yes.  Could I not wash or rinse my hair for days—yes.  Did my hair start looking like a Rastafarian—yes.  But no hair got shaved!

I got a CT Scan, listened to some annoying beep beep beeping from the neighboring beds monitor–which trust me, when you have a headache is like Chinese water torture (sorry, is that not politically correct anymore?).  Even my son Mark put his arm around me because he knew the beeping was getting to me–and that’s pretty big for him.  And do you know, as a Mom, that gesture made this whole event worth it.  My sons not very demonstrative.  Mark met me at the hospital because my husband Craig was about an hour away at a golf game .  I called Craig from the ambulance, and told him to finish his game.  Honestly, there was nothing he could do, he might as well finish the game.  But maybe he might not want to go out to dinner afterwards–I’m not THAT good a wife!  Of course, later I find out Craig drove 100mph to get to the hospital.  Mark filled out most of the hospital paperwork, even knew mine and my husbands phone numbers by heart. Now, come on, how many of us know our kids phone numbers without looking them up on the phone?  Hmmmm?   I was impressed.

Anyway, after some people-watching, I: 1) told my nurse that one of the labs techs was flirting with her, judging from his body language; 2) so BADLY wanted to tell another woman who walked past me dozens of times to fix the back of her blouse, and; 3) was watching other patients getting wheeled in, and wanting to ask, “so whatcha in for?”, but I held back… (See? I do have some restraint!) 

Eventually I was sent home, got to enjoy a few days with Percoset, made my doctor laugh because after four days with Percoset I was afraid I was going to get addicted and told her I  wouldn’t take anymore.  I made pumpkin bread for the men who found me, and thanked them for “going out on a limb for me”.  They told me that I told them (I have no recollection of this) that I  put up an arm to protect my head-I do have a bruise on my arm but just assumed I got it from falling.  THAT’s why I think not wearing earbuds may have saved my life.  If I was wearing earbuds, would I have heard the crack from the tree limb?  Probably not.  I then wouldn’t have put up any protection and the limb would have fallen straight onto my head.  Not a pretty thought.

What did I learn from this?  That I’m unbelievably lucky?  In this case, pretty much.  Am I not going to walk under trees anymore?  Not at all!  I LOVE AUTUMN AND I LOVE TREES.   Freak accidents occur.  Odds are it won’t happen again (actually I did get hit on the head with a rock that came out of the woods-totally from nowhere–when I was in middle school.  So I have a scar from stitches on the other side of my head.  Apparently I’m a magnet.  Maybe my skull/brain should be studied?   I’m like Bruce Willis in the movie Unbreakable.  Of course I just jinxed myself.  I’m now going to step on a paperclip and break a hip).

What is so cool that everyone should learn from this?  Don’t worry about things!!  Honestly!  Every single time something has happened to me or someone in my family (which has been often) it has always been unexpected.   So if it’s unexpected, then worrying is totally pointless.  Hence here– I probably said to my husband before he left, “careful driving”….it’s not like he would have said to me, “careful staying home”.  Right?  Such a weight off your shoulders isn’t it? You can just go through your daily life like a happy little puppy.  Things will happen whether you worry about them or not.  I just saved you OODLES of brain time NOT worrying about things!   Your welcome!

Remember,

Itlbok, Really

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.  Thanks!  Happy Reading.

 

Armpit, does thou offend?

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I’ve never considered myself a prude.  I don’t think anyone I know would consider me a prude.  Goodness knows I speak my mind!  But I guess my age is showing.  Certainly not on my face or my body!  And not in the way I think….remember from my previous blogs, I’m hip 🙂  But apparently I’m aging in what I consider acceptable words.  

There is a certain deodorant commercial that is trying to push the envelope by using the word armpit instead of underarm.  And it’s for a “female” deodorant not male.  I’ll be the first to admit,  I don’t like it. I don’t know what the company is trying to prove.  That it’s cool?  Obviously they are not trying to attract me nor my armpits, apparently they want younger armpits.  Why, I am not sure.  Trust me, with my hot flashes I am sweating just as much if not MORE than my younger counterparts!!

 I don’t want anything on my body considered a pit unless someone is pointing to my abs–practically a concave pit thank you very much !!  (wow–side tangent…..I just thought of something….I’m going to make big bucks with this…..trompe l’oeil…..a tattoo of a flat tummy on your tummy!  Doesn’t that make sense?  so that you can wear a bikini,  great idea!  OK, back to the underarms).

I also am not a fan of “suck”…unless I’m sucking on a lollipop, I’ll stick with “it stinks”.  I don’t like “ass”, but I’ll go with butt.  I guess I’m just an old fashioned girl–picture me fluttering my lashes.  I don’t like “tits”, boobies or boobs are fine with me.  I also still use the biological words like penis and vagina-heavens to Betsy!!!  

Now if you think this makes me a prude, LOLOL, just get me into a conversation.  I also don’t like to curse.  Unless of course I’m angry or pmssing–which of course are synonymous.    Then watch out—everything I just said is moot!  

Commercials are getting a little graphic, aren’t they?  I’m not even talking about the Viagra and Cialis commercials (what is it about the man and woman in separate bathtubs looking at the sunset?  The creators do realize no sex is happening while they’re in separate tubs right?  No wonder an erection can last 4 hours!)  What about the toenail fungus commercial?  Hopefully you’re not eating.  Do we really need to see the detail?  I think we know toenail fungus when and if we have it.  The toilet paper commercials…are you getting clean enough?  Excuse me?  Really?  Wow~!  

BUT I have to say, you advertisers you—you got us doing exactly what you want us to do–Talking about your products!!  Unfortunately I don’t have a clue what the NAME of your PRODUCT is.   Hmmmmm maybe THAT’S why you market to younger people!!! 

Remember,

ITLBOK, Really

If you like my blogs, please Follow Me.  This means you will get sent my new blogs straight to your email instead of having to remember my site address or going onto Facebook.  Just click the floating “follow” button on the lower right side of the page.